Rev. Betty Weaver used Edwin H. Friedman’s Fable The Bridge to remind us how easily we can get pulled into carrying burdens that aren’t ours.
That is where Friedman’s Fable Soaring takes us next with a line that sticks: “The children who do best in this world are those we make least important to our own salvation.” When we stop taking responsibility for others’ burdens, we also stop tying our identity to their outcomes. That’s where real freedom begins for them and for us.
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go…”, not control them or hover over every move. Just train and guide them. Then trust. That kind of trust takes faith, because it means believing that what you’ve poured in will hold steady, even when you’re no longer managing every detail. It also reminds us that God’s work in someone else’s life doesn’t depend solely on us.
In everyday life, this shows up in small but meaningful ways. Resisting the urge to fix everything. Allowing people to wrestle through their own decisions, even when you can see an easier path. Being present and supportive without stepping in to carry weight that was never yours to hold. Whether it is kids, coworkers, or friends, people grow stronger when we walk beside them rather than take over. The Bridge reminds us not to carry their load; Soaring reminds us not to build our identity on whether they cross it.
Reflection: So, is soaring something you teach, or something that just happens? Probably both. You can help someone find their footing—but the real lift comes when they trust the wind enough to step out on their own.